i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
