I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
he's single and there are thong briefs.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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