just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
