Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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