i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
they call him Oral-B. enough said
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
