great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
