You work out of a Hotel?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
