My pussy is not your playground.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
