What did we do last night that was yellow?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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