so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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