he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
