Whod you bang
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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