Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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