it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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