I need help removing her.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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