The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
