I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
