Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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