she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize