you would pick up someone in the library
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
