Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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