ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize