fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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