it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
