I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
