So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
