Having a random hookup so left but love u
Where is the hickey?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
