My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
someone owes me an orgasm
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize