Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
