I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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