I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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