Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
