Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
