i barfeds in our rink
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
