SEEEEXXX PLEASE
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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