that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
