Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
