A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
