Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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