I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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