I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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