I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
