but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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