Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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