The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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