they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
