I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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