Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
