Someone shit on the floor
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
