the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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