I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
