i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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