Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
