he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
