Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
