My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
