My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
