I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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