She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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