So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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