I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
