i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
